Suddenly Routine

Back when gmail first came out, I scored one of the rare early invites and was able to get krissie (at) gmail.com as my address. Those were the days when people would pay for a gmail invites. (I think I made about $100 selling my invites on ebay, not very neighborly, but hey, I had a pretty low paying job at the time and needed the $$$) Anyway, I like my email address, but find that I get a lot of mistakenly-sent-to-me emails. Most are boring and I usually send something back to let the person know they have the wrong address. But once in a while I get an interesting one.

About a month ago, someone used my email address to sign up for a dating site. Their password was sent to me and I was able to log in as them and check out their profile and stuff. She seemed like a nice person, so I sent her a message through her profile (as herself, which must have been kind of weird to get. “Dear Self, change your email address. I can read all your shit. Sincerely, Yourself”) to give her a heads up. Part of me wanted to keep getting her messages just for my entertainment, but that seemed wrong to me.

Another time I found myself part of an email group that seemed to be mostly middle-aged women authors. One of the woman was diagnosed with cancer and used the email list to keep her group updated with her progress. I was torn about that one too, because she was a really good email writer and I started getting interested in her progress. Luckily, everything turned out ok, she went into remission and I let her know that she was sending her emails to the wrong person.

But the longest running and most entertaining emails are coming from a sorority mailing list. I won’t mention what sorority it is or where in the south (ha!) it lives, or mention any names. As someone who has a pretty negative view of sororities in general, I think the emails are pretty funny. Especially since half the time, I have no idea what these girls are talking about.

This was the first one I got at the end of last summer:

Stealing = jail
Girls, please stop stealing my kite kuzin and initiation gifts. THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! I am really upset, I thought I would be able to leave them in the basement and trust you girls not to steal them, I was wrong. I am not dumb, I know exactly what gifts you all got last year and I know what I bought this year, therefore it is blatantly obvious when you take things. I do not have extra for you all to just take, if I have extra at the end, I will be more than happy to talk to you about working something out. I cannot tell you how much this upsets me, I am really disappointed, I hate to be mean but this is a serious problem. If I don’t have enough gifts when I go to set them out, I am not able to go and get new ones, they did not come from anywhere in Athens. If I see you with something that I know is not yours, you will go to MDC. Please return anything you have taken to the basement and I won’t ask any questions. Sorry again to be mean, but it’s not my money that’s being taken away and I am responsible for it. Be respectful!!

Ok, WTF is a kite kuzin? And is MDC some sort of sorority jail? Sounds like the gulag to me. Bad times, sisters…

A couple of days later, this one showed up in my inbox:

Pictures
THERE ARE TO BE NO PICTURES FROM THE HOUSE LAST NIGHT PUT ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially if they have any cups in them. If Exec sees any, you will go to development. I am as serious as a heart attack right now, DO NOT MAKE ME UPSET

What sort of debauchery occurred last night? Some serious as a heart attack debauchery, I bet. I don’t think anyone took her seriously, because later in the afternoon, she sent out this email:

READ OR YOU GO TO MDC
THERE SHALL BE NO PICTURES FROM THE HOUSE LAST NIGHT ON FACEBOOK!!! Especially ones with cups in them. I wouldn’t even put ones up there from **** and probably not even the actual social just to be on the safe side. If any pictures are on Facebook, you will come to MDC, no questions asked. A picture is direct evidence that you were breaking the rules. I am sorry to send out so many mean e-mails right now but PLEASE DON’T UPSET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More MDC threats. It sounds like they don’t care if you break any rules, just if you have evidence that you broke rules.

I have so many of these emails, there’s not enough room to post them all. Maybe I should have a weekly feature. “Tales From Being on the Wrong Mailing List.”

**Disclaimer… Ok, I feel like I should throw this in here because some of my favorite people were in sororities. I don’t think all sororities are bad and just because I had a some negative experiences with some my freshman year doesn’t mean that they are all mean bitches who hog the bathrooms and give the stink eye to the non-sorority girls on the hall.

I’ve been a horrible updater lately. Ignoring my website. Someone should call the web-equivalent to CPS and report me.

Hmmm… so what’s been going on? Maybe I should interview myself again.

So, Kris, what’s happening? What have you been up to?

Well, I’ll tell you. Not much. Still unemployed, still watching too much tv and I haven’t started my new exercise routine yet. But it’s on the list. Oh, and I had a job interview last week for a job that I think would be a totally bad ass opportunity. Which throws a monkey wrench into my fantasy of being a stay at home mother. But it’s a good wrench.

Exercise routine? Won’t that get in the way of all your couch sitting and tv watching?

Yeah, probably. But that’s why we have a DVR. I’d hate to miss the latest Bachelor episode. Can you believe that Vienna is STILL around? OMG, she’s such a bitch!! [eyeroll]

What’s Anna been up to?

Anna is having a great time. She’s been getting up really early. And had been learning to um, exert her personality a little bit more when she doesn’t agree with a particular course of action. And she’s also been calling me by my first name instead of Mom or Mommy. It’s cute. Especially since it sounds like “Tiss” or “Tissie” hahahaha…

Any new craft projects in the works?

Sort of. I was thinking about making Anna a Valentine’s Day bag to put some fun treats in. Sort of like a stocking. But that looks like a bag. I thought that sounded like a fun thing to do. And I still have all that extra felt from my Christmas projects to use up. I also have some big tacky plans for the kitchen that depend on whether or not I get that job I interviewed for.

Wow. You’d think with all your free time, you’d be able to update your website more often.

Yeah, you would think that wouldn’t you? But you’d be wrong. I bet you’re glad that you asked. Or I bet that I’m glad that I asked myself that question. What? Ok, now I’m confused.

My Christmas tree is losing the stare down contest with our neighbor’s Christmas tree.

I wish my tree wouldn’t be so intimidated by those fat puffy needled trees.

Why do I feel the sudden urge to break out my Rush albums?

Yesterday I finally tried the first of the green smoothies. I went with the basic romaine + bananas. It was not bad. Tasted more like bananas than the romaine. I poured three small smoothies so the whole family could do a taste test. We all pretty much felt the same about it, indifferent. Anna was more excited about saying, “smoothie” over and over. But she drank her glass. Visually, it was a pretty green color. [here's where some pictures might help]

Today I tried a different one. This one was spinach + mixed berries + apple. I’m drinking it now and I’d say this one is better than yesterday’s, even if the color is sort of an unappetizing brownish-red. Presentation = FAIL. But taste is more important, right?

So the results of the first smoothie battle is as follows:
Romaine Smoothie < Spinach Smoothie

But neither tastes as good as a cheese steak sub from Pellegrinos.

Ok, I’m not really challenging anyone, but I needed a dramatic title for today’s post.

The other day I was puttering around on the internet as I often do and came across this question on Ask Metafilter which led me to do some reading about green smoothies. I know, GREEN smoothies?? WTF are those?? But apparently it’s the healthiest thing in the world to eat and will solve all your health problems, pay your mortgage and shovel your driveway at the same time. I might be exaggerating, but it sounded like it was something easy and cheap to try.

I went to the The Green Smoothie Challenge website and signed up for the 14 day challenge.  I guess all I have to do is drink one of these green smoothies once a day. They send me an email every day with recipes and tips and stuff. We’ll see how it goes. I haven’t started it yet. To be honest, while I like romaine lettuce and love bananas, I’ve never thought about blending them together and I hate to use the world gross, but yeah, it sort of  sounds pretty gross to me. I’m staying positive about it. The people who do it are really into it, so maybe they are onto something.

Anyone else want to join in? I think I might have The Clam on board…

It wouldn’t be a new year if I didn’t set my self up for failure by making some unattainable goals for myself. How’s that for a positive attitude? That’s probably why it’s not a good idea to make your resolutions in the middle of a post-holiday funk.

So here are my resolutions/goals for the next 12 months. (You know not including stuff like be a better wife/mother/friend/citizen/etc, because I like to think I try to do that all the time. I’m sure my husband doesn’t always agree, but that’s ok, I still think I try)

1. Stop biting my nails. It’s a gross habit and my hands look terrible because of it. It’s like someone cut off the tips of my fingers and chewed on the stumps. Genetically, I’m never going to have long glamorous fashionable nails, but they don’t have to look as bad as they do now. I don’t do it constantly, but I’ve been falling back into it the past month or so and I’m too old to be gnawing on my fingers. Time to bust out the Nailtique.
2. Cut down on the tv. Yeah, anyone who knows me is rolling their eyes right now, but seriously, we watch way too much tv in this house. It’s just too easy to get sucked into whatever stupid show is on. Except for Sons of Anarchy, the shit stops here when that show is on. Especially with being home all day, the tv is just on way too much.
3. Lose weight. That’s an obvious. I’m like a Supersized-Krissie now and I’d like to get back down to just Wellfed-Krissie. I don’t need to be super thin, I just want to get under the weight limit for the Flirty Girl Fitness pole.  (that’s a joke, I’m not really going to order that)

There, I think three is enough for now. I reserve the right to revise the list whenever the mood strikes or whenever I want to change my goals to something I’ve actually done.

Tune in tomorrow, I’ll post about the Green Smoothie Challenge that I’m going to try this week.

Ok, let this be the last of the Christmas posts. According to my updated project to-do list, these were the projects I needed to finish before Christmas morning.

First on the list: Stockings.

Status: DONE!

After creating a pattern out of a brown paper bag, I used the felted wool I made from thrift store sweaters to sew these bad boys up. I even added an inside liner to all three.

They aren’t really totally done, I want to add some sort of finishing to the top and embroider our names on them. But hey, I have almost a year to do it…

Second on the list: Play Kitchen.

Status = DONE!

Check out yesterday’s post for the picture proof. This was mostly my husband’s skill. I mostly provided critique and beers.

Third on the list: Husband’s present.

Status = DONE!

I ended up making my husband a bucky for Christmas. Using this tutorial, I whipped one up pretty quickly. It came out pretty well, I want to make one for myself after borrowing it for a migraine. The buckwheat groats inside the bag keep the heat for about 20-30 minutes. It’s nice.

I caught a little flak from some people (message board friends, some grumpy scrooges who shall not be named), saying that this was a lame gift to give to my husband. I was worried a little about that, but my husband said he loves it and I’ve even seen him use it so I’m going to go with he’s happy with my gift.

Last on the list: Consumable Gifts

Status: DIDN’T HAPPEN

Yeah, I was sick the day before and on Christmas Eve. I’m lucky I got the other stuff done. No bourbon balls, no chocolate pretzels, no chai tea loaves. I felt a little bad about it, but got over it pretty quickly. There’s always next year.

Bonus Project

There was one bonus project that I did one night while watching tv. I saw these wreaths and thought they were just so festive and pretty. And more importantly, easy to do. My wreath came together fairly quickly using some extra ornaments I had lying around, the one wire hanger left in the house and my trusty glue gun. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough ornaments to make a full sized wreath, so mine is a little smaller than and not quite as lush as the one I linked to. And I didn’t cut off the extra wire hanger, so that looks a little ghetto, but hey, the extra bit gave me the opportunity to hang it off one of the rocks in our fireplace.

Here’s the entire mantel with stockings, wreath and of course, the Christmas Trout.

And with this post, we’re done with Christmas stuff until next November. Ho ho ho…

One of the Christmas projects on my list was to complete Anna’s play kitchen before Christmas morning. I am happy to report that it was finished a couple of hours before midnight on Christmas Eve. Whew! My husband did such a fantastic job, I wish I could take credit for more of it.

Here is the finished kitchen!

And the other side:

The sink and the fabulously adorable apron that my mom made for Anna:

So, I bet you are wondering what my contribution was? I made the curtain below the sink.

An interesting bit of trivia about the fabric I used, at least interesting to Project Runway dorks like myself, is that the fabric was designed by Jay McCarroll, the winner of season one of Project Runway. I really loved the colors and how fun the design was.

I am so happy with the way the kitchen turned out and more importantly, Anna totally loves it and has been happily playing with it since Christmas morning. I’d say it was her favorite present. Although the Elmo book with the CD player is giving the kitchen a run for its money.