I have a couple of more inadvertently-sent-to-me emails from my favorite anonymous sorority…
First off is this one (formatting was by the sender, not added by me. I know enough not to underline my text for emphasis):
RE: Unbelievable.
There are facebook pictures and Pic-Mans ALL OVER THE PLACE of roughly half of you with wristbands at formal.
Really, y’all?
How many weekly sophomore meetings is it going to take for y’all to start holding eachother accountable? I don’t know if this was because ******** wasn’t there or what but this is truly unacceptable. ******** and I have been really cool about this kind of stuff and we’re not out to get anyone by any means, we genuinely thought we had a perfectly behaved sorority at both events until a little light facebook stalking and subsequently some serious Pic-Man scouring… advisors look at these photos, people!
We’re a little unhappy, to say the least, that y’all are trying to take advantage of us and haven’t yet decided what we’re going to do about it.
In the future, don’t be idiots.
** and ********
I’all’d be scared if I’all was one of the girl’alls not holding each other accountable’all. Y’all know what I’all mean’all? The drama deepened after I got this follow up email from the same person:
RE: My sad state…
I am currently, no joke, having my first lone dining experience at *******’s downtown. Why am I doing this? Because after talking with a couple of sophomores at the house tonight, I feel like a complete and total b-i-t-c-h and need chocolate… ASAP.
The miscommunications between us are astronomical and contributing to what only feels like a mutual hatred of me among your entire pledge class and not really without reason. Yes, I, too, had a wristband at formal. I succumbed to the awkwardness of being completely alone with the band for an hour and felt I deserved a beer, I was wrong. It will not happen again, I can promise you that.
Along with that point, I fear that yall feel singled out. This was not the intended purpose of the email. Between you and me, on pic mans, I solely look for wristbands and BLATANT drinking by sophomores and freshman (not juniors even though they are not all 21) and your class, out of those two, was the only one breaking the rules so that may be why you felt singled out. The email was written in the heat of the moment fueled by the feeling of being let down and undermined that ******** and I felt. And I specifically felt that it would have been different had ******** been present which hurt me a little bit more specifically.
Lastly, my use of the word “idiots” was purely meant to use my sarcastic humor to lighten the mood and was not meant to be taken to heart. It simply meant that we don’t like to yell at you, you don’t like to hear it, so stop doing the simple things that get you in trouble! My jokes don’t always work and that was clearly a serious flop and I apologize sincerely.
I’m literally sick to my stomach that you all have lost all respect for me and faith in me. While you all will still have to be punished, I hope this makes you hate me less. At least a little bit.
On a happy note, the nutella and banana crepe is pretty good.
Ugh. I suck and I’m sorry, y’all.
I’m the “idiot”.
Please let me know if you want to talk about anything, thanks.
*
Sent via BlackBerry by **&*
I have to say I was most impressed that this tr;dr email was sent from a Blackberry. I’m only good for sending twitter-length emails from my phone. She must have been really distressed at the thought being so mutually hated by her pledge class. Hopefully her pledge class hates her less after reading about how good the nutella and banana crepe was. It took a lot of strength for her to overcome her ‘literally sick to her stomach’ feeling to choke down that crepe. I’all wonder what the punishment is going to be’all for them’all.

















5. March 2010
5 Comments